Love your sex toys, but feel foolish referring to them as “toys?” Well, hot diggity dog – Christmakwanzukkah is coming early for you this year! Meet the A10 Cyclone Standalone: the first ever “sexual home appliance.”
For reals. Sex toy company Vorze just launched Cyclone marketing it as a home appliance. Apparently, the older version of the Cyclone was just another boooring vibrating sex toy that frightened people with over stimulation. So, what’s been added?
Bluetooth baby! This thing actually can connect and synchronize to your TV while you dance with yourself. Now YOU can customize the movement of your Cyclone to match whatever you’re watching. Whether you’re a Bill O’Reilly babe or Rachel Maddow minx, you’ll be screaming at your TV for entirely new reasons. After that, the Cyclone stores your data (speed, length of time, etc.) and uploads it to the internet. Why not share you masturbation experience with friends, coworkers, randos from high school, and a rogue relative.
Best of all – this item was intended to make shelves at electronics shops. Never again will you have to lumber through sketchy neighborhoods in the dark to pick your prize. No longer will you buy a “neck massager” (please) at home stores. No. The dark days are officially over.
Jokes aside, some people do want sex toys but fear entering the store (or, don’t know where to find one). Here are other home appliances that have taken a sexual meaning:
1.) Electric toothbrush
2.) Shower head
3.) Washing machine
4.) Cell phone
5.) Hot tub jets
Image: courtesy of Flickrhttp://farm5.staticflickr.com/4038/4194956394_5cbd520a02_o.jpg
